The Cocky (L)User

So, There it happened again. A user phoned – Seriously – what possesses them to do that to themselves??

{phone rings}
me : BOFH Hello?
(L)User : Hi, This is *blanked out*. When are you going to send someone up to fix my internet and E-Mail?
me : *bzzzzzt…..pop* sorry, Who’s this?
(L)User : This is Ben. Will you be fixing my internet anytime soon?
me : yes, sure, just hang on a moment. What’s your username & password? *clicks over to admin interface*
(L)User : It’s [blah blah blah blah].
me : *deletes all records of the user in the employee database and fixes internet* There ya go…all done…
(L)User : Thank you.
me : It’s a pleasure. Really it is…
{puts phone down}

No really now, I honestly don’t know why users have to be so…cocky. Why can they not be like the rest of us? Normal.

Our internet was down a bit today as we had a techie work on the lines here (I would have slapped him if it did not start working again). So the users start getting cocky – and I must be totally honest with you that there is nothing more frustrating, and nothing in this whole world that get’s me angrier (or angry quicker) than a user being cocky with me.

One of these days I’m afraid that I’m gonna pop my top, switch of all servers, change all passwords, enable self-destruct and go away for a week. Then maybe they’ll just start being nice to me.

License to err.

To the untrained eye, the computer is a scary device. It sits there, maliciously waiting to inflict agonizing errors at the unsuspecting user. This is the view of many users that I have come across.

But so are cars. You make one wrong move, and you've killed a couple of people (and hopefully yourself too). At least with computers it is usually only yourself that feels the pain.

I have come to the conclusion that most people are not fit to "drive" a computer. They are a danger to the people around them and the well-being of any network is threatened by their mere proximity to anything remotely computer-like.

Some would argue that a computer is just a tool. It is JUST a means of getting something done. It is JUST a box standing there. So why learn how to operate it? Again we can use the car as a metaphor. Let me but it in perspective:

A car is JUST a tool... Yeah, one that is dangerous if mishandled.
A car is JUST a means of getting something done... Yep, getting from point A to B at a very fast pace.
A car is JUST a box standing there... Weighing a ton or two with (mostly) idiot drivers in them.

There is NO excuse for not learning how to use a computer properly. Even if you just use one thing, LEARN IT.
The amount of damage the untrained user can do on a computer is devastating.
Sure they're not killing somebody (not directly, think virus-spreads-to-heart-monitor) but is that any reason to let it slide?

Ofcourse not.

I believe that users should have a point system. Every mistake they make gets a point deducted from their PC license. When there are no points available they are suspended from using a PC until they've re-taken the pc literacy tests.

Repeat violators should be banned until further review.

Let me know what you think?

Liar Liar (L)User on fire!!!

I have come to the conclusion that all users think that we, systems administrators, are totally stupid. Yes, they think that they are in control and can feed us any bunch of lies, and that we will just believe them...

Yeah, right. If there is a user reading this, please take out your notebook and take notes, I am only saying this ONCE:

SYSTEMS ADMINISTRATORS ARE NOT IDIOTS.

For Example:

{Phone Rings}
me : BOFH Speaking, Hello?
(L)User : Hi, How are you?
me : Fine, you?
(L)User : Fine. Listen, I am trying to send an E-Mail to my team leaders with our program for the next 13 weeks, and they are not recieving it.
me : How many team leaders do you have? *opens admin console and checks Outbound Mail Que*
(L)User : I know I cannot send an E-Mail to more than 10 people at the time, so I sent 6 E-Mails as I have approximately 60 team leaders.
me : *sees that he's lying throught his teeth and that there is ONE E-Mail with 50 (counted them) reciepients*

**PAUSE**

So, now what do I do? Accept that I'M in the wrong and that I'M an idiot? Nope...

**UNPAUSE**

me : Sir, there is nothing on my servers or anywhere to be found. The problem is not at MY side. *delete's message from mail que**
(L)User : ok, thank you.
me : it's my PLEASURE...
{puts down phone}

Who's the idiot now? Who's the Stupid one now? Honestly, don't take me for useless...

Some Reading Lessons Please!!!

So this day started quite well. The padawan, the 'boss' the everyone decided to leave me alone, so I have had a good morning...and then the phone rang...

Yes, that old annoying thing came and spoiled my day brilliantly - as per usual and right on schedule.

{Phone rings}
[me] - {answers} BOFH speaking, how can I help you?
[voice on the line] - Hi, I cannot log into the intranet, and I tried all my passwords.
[me] - Have you tried the password that I gave you, the one on the little credit-card sized piece of paper, and the password with title "Intranet/TMS Password" as was indicated you should use ON the Intranet page?
[voice on the line] - No, I thought I should use my Internet password. It's what I have been using all the time?
*bzzzt...POP*
[me] - Well, that's nice, but tell me why I would have given you the password on a handy little card, and tell you on a page which password you should use to log in if I wouldn't set it up that way?
[voice on the line] - Uhm....
[me] - That's nice, now please leave me alone...
{puts down the phone and pop over to the blog}

I don't know about the rest of the population, but when *I* need to use something, I READ what I should do, especially if I don't manage on my own...

But now, A little laughter from a fellow BOFH:

Attempt to get an email password from a helpdesk tech:

[Tech] - "Hello"
[Me] - "Hi! This is [name] from [company], I'm calling in regards to [email address]. Could you please reset the password?"
[Tech] - "You would need to submit such a request in writing."
[Me] - "Oh really? that's a shame, I'm trying to setup Outlook. What is the current password?"
[Tech] - "I can give you that, but first I need to ask some questions for security"
[Me] - "Go ahead" *opens a webbrowser*
[Tech] - "What is the address of [company]?"
[Me] - *yellowpages.co.za* "It is [address]"
[Tech] - "And the phone number?"
[Me] - *clicks* "It is [number]"
[Tech] - "Thank you, the password is [password]"
[Me] - "Thanks! Bye"
-- The End --

How's THAT for some impressive security. I bet no one could think of something like that...Honestly - some people just shouldn't be anywhere NEAR a computer, or worse - any kind of administration interface...

Action or Comedy???

So today I got my claws on a golden oldie. Watched the first episode of it, and I couldn't help but wonder if an action series of 20+ years ago could have become the comedy of today... Of course, I am talking about the series named Knight Rider...

A hit of an action series a couple of years ago, a hit of a comedy series now :P

I am a Systems administrator, and I know technology quite well. I know about special effects as my friend does special effects, animation and all that. This was just hilarious.


David Hasseholff was never one of my favorite actors, and I know why all over again.

Back there he's younger than I am now, which is just scary. I don't quite know where I liked him less, in Knight Rider or in Baywatch...


Upon seeing the so-called technology burst out laughing at everything. I can't think how all this was state of the art, but it was - no matter what I'm thinking. I especially like the two black & white CRT monitors inside of K.I.T.T


This was really a trip down memory lane, and I must say that although I was never old enough to actually REMEMBER any of this. I will always hold on to this bit of a treasure, and when I feel nostalgic, I think I'll watch another Episode.

An Introduction

So, here I am...

This little blog thingie of mine, well, it's just to inform the public out there of the wonderful things we as Sys Admins encounter on a day-to day base. Yes, believe it or not we encounter strange, interesting things, and it's not just on a monitor.

One of the most interesting things that I have came across, is people asking dumb questions...Example:

{The Secretary's phone rings and I answer...}
[me] - Hello?
[voice on the line] - Hi, is the secretary there?
*snaps*
[me] - Well, if the secretary was here, then why would *I* be doing HER job?
{Puts the phone down}

I mean, what's up with that? Honestly, I won't be answering someone else's phone if they are there...